Spring has sprung,

Fall has fell;

And here we are,

In two-oh-twelve.

It’s certainly comforting to know our government is looking out for we the people.

You know everybody hates figuring income tax or paying someone else to figure income tax.

Well, you should be pleased to know that Big Brother is making this little chore go away.

Everybody likes a good mystery, right? To keep us happy, the Infernal Revenue Service, according to various news sources, held a secret meeting in early December to put it to us.

Sorry, that should have been to take care of us. Silly me for getting taking care of us mixed up with putting it to us.

The meeting concerned a change in the way tax returns are handled. It’s all designed to make things easier for the taxpayers. Taxpayers is a code word used in high levels of government so taxpayers won’t realize it really means the workers who aren’t on the public dole in high levels of government.

What it is, see, is a plan to fix it where nobody has to fill out those nasty old returns. The IRS will file our taxes for us and send us a refund or a due bill.

Our economy is in such good shape that no more money is needed. The government has issued instructions to the IRS to be more taxpayer-friendly and help all of save money.

This is not to encourage anyone to take up gambling, but how would you wager on which notice you will receive?

Can’t you just picture this?

IRS boss enters a huge room with every IRS employee. Explains the situation. We are now doing the returns for every taxpayer in America. (IRS boss breaks up, falls to floor laughing.) Back in control, Boss explains how the IRS has been in every citizens’ pants for years and how now the citizens will even have to upzip.

Boss again falls to floor laughing, completely out of control. Appears near death due to excessive giggleation and guffawing while imagining taxpayers trying to chew their way through the money maze.

Tax refund? Due bill? We’re now going to let the IRS decide?

Duh!

This does not pass the smell test. Most citizens do not trust the IRS, especially to do returns for the citizens. Most citizens likely would not vote for candidates who support this sort of shenanigan.

Unfortunately, in these United States, a majority is no longer enough to keep power grabbers and crooks in check. We now must have a whopping majority and that still isn’t enough if the money is big enough and this kind of money will indeed be big enough.

You do remember when the tax code was simplified, don’t you? The instruction manual was reduced to a mere 60,000 or so pages.

Used to be, you could call five different IRS offices, ask the same question and get five different answers.

To help us save on telephone bills, we can now call one IRS office and get five answers to the same question.

Tell me that’s not hope and change we can believe in.

This will be sold to we the people as another plan for job creation. The IRS will have to hire more people to do all of those returns. Instant job creation. Take back everything you have said about our leaders.

Disregard all of the tax preparers who will no longer be employed. Disregard the studying they have done to even begin to wade through the government gobbledegook that makes up our rules and regulations on filling out tax returns.

You can see how this will simplify the system. The IRS does your return, saving you all of that time and energy. The IRS says you owe whatever it says you owe.

You have the right to question the figures, of course.

This is, after all, America, not some banana republic. Right?

Of course you can question the figures. Send your question to the people who did the figuring. As soon as your figurer controls his/her laughter, he will double-check the numbers.

Turns out something was overlooked. You now owe $387 more than your previous bill. Thank you for calling this to our attention. Send money before we send collectors.

Actually, it won’t be this bad all at once. Big Brother/Big Government/IRS wouldn’t do something like this to we the people.

No, this will happen in excremental stages.

Calling all foxes. If this IRS thing happens, the henhouse will be open for withdrawals.

Spring has sprung,

Fall has fell;

And here we are,

In two-oh-twelve.

Happy New Year!