Kicking up your heels to step on sexual abuse

Participants in the Choctaw Nation Family Violence Prevention Program kicked up their heels to step on sexual abuse during the 13th annual Kick up Your Heels walk Saturday morning at the Choctaw amphitheater located at the tribe’s headquarters.

Anna Marcy, director of the Choctaw Nation Family Violence Prevention program, spoke before the walk and she said the tribe has many different programs for victims of abuse, sexual violence, intimate partner violence, stalking and harassment. She said there are many programs that serve nonnatives from the federal funding the Choctaw Nation receives.

“So if you ever have a question about someone needing assistance, someone that they don’t know where to go, whether it be sexual assault, sexual violence or domestic violence, just reach out to one of our programs,” Marcy said. “I promise you they will get you where you need to go.”

Marcy acknowledged that there were many abuse survivors at the event.

“Survivors of sexual assault, whether it be as a youth or as an adult, I want to acknowledge the strength that we have here today,” she said. “In addition, I want to acknowledge all of our awesome men that have showed up to stand by our victims and to say that you are strong enough and man enough to walk in a woman’s shoes and to support victims of sexual assault.”

She also spoke of the longevity of the group participating in the walk.

“There are individuals that have been walking in high heels since 2011 present here today, so I want to acknowledge all of our strong male supporters that have always been here and that have always said, ‘We’re not going to stand for this. We’re going to support victims. We’re not going to allow this in our community,’” Marcy said. “We’ve got some folks that have been walking in high heels long enough that they’re too old to walk in high heels now and they’ve graduated to little black slippers, so that’s a milestone.”

Marcy said Kick up Your Heels is near and dear to her heart and also to Jacki Jones, who is the family violence supervisor and Project SAFE coordinator at the Choctaw Nation.

“Jacki Jones is who is the backbone of all of this,” Marcy said. “Everything that you see, all of the calls and requests for service, that is all Jacki.”

Marcy provided grim statistics on sexual abuse and said that one in three females will be a victim at some point in their lifetimes from childhood to adulthood.

“So I’m going to tell you, if you see three or four or six women sitting in a row, you do the math,” Marcy said. “What we’re also hearing now and what data is showing is that one in six males are victims of sexual assault in their lifetimes. Just because you’re a male does not make you immune to sexual assault, sexual abuse or sexual molestation in your lifetimes.

“So this event has always been about standing up for female victims because that is statistically the higher group. So we want to acknowledge that males can be victims and are victims as well. They just don’t talk about it as much, but that’s something that’s changing in culture today.”

Marcy then spoke about what consent means.

“I’m going to challenge each of you here today, grownups that have children, all of these teenage boys that are sitting here today, I’m challenging you to look into what consent is,” she said. “Consent is active agreement.”

Many carried signs that stated, “Got Consent?” That is a play on a commercial from years ago that stated, “Got Milk?”

According to Marcy, consent is the largest factor in understanding sexual assault and agreement.

“I want to challenge each of you to understand consent and to talk to your children, male and female, about what consent is,” Marcy said. “Consent is active, it is agreeable, it is no doubt. Silence is not consent, compliance is not consent, coercion is not consent. Just because someone is not screaming, ‘No, no, stop, stop, stop,’ does not mean that they are consenting.

“So I challenge each of you to look up consent, to understand consent and to talk to your children. Even these little ones can understand consent. It’s a very, very easy concept that you can start teaching long before we talk about sexual assault or what sex even is with our young people. So it’s really important.”